I blinked painfully at the sudden light. 

"Oh, no! I'm sorry," she said, immediately turning it back off and using just the soft light of her phone as she stepped into the bedroom. "Migraine," she added in a sympathetic tone that was not a question. Her soft presence was reassuring.

"Yeah," I confirmed distantly. "Came on about three."

"Hey. I got something for you to try. Jeyne at the office said it helped her sister-in-law with her migraines a lot." She sat gracefully on the side of the bed and tapped away at her phone.

"Ugh," I said emphatically.

"Yeah, I know. But it's worth a shot, right? Oh, here, this must be it." She tapped thoughtfully at her nose in that endearing way I secretly loved, then handed the phone to me. "Jeyne said something about it using sound."

"Ugh," I complained again profoundly, but I took her phone with a resigned expression on my face. She left the room as gracefully as she had entered.

I flipped over onto my side and looked at the screen. A single button at the bottom of a dark blue field said, "emerge." I rolled my eyes and tapped it.

The screen faded to black, then letters in a subtle gray sans-serif appeared. They pulsed, slightly, in a rather strange rhythm.

WHEN YOU ARE READY TO EMERGE, it said, MERELY CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR TEN SECONDS.

I sighed and waited, but as nothing further appeared on the screen, I closed my eyes and massaged my temple. As often with my migraines lately, the spiky anomalies in my periphery remained even with my eyes closed. I amused myself by watching the lightning-like shapes writhe near the edges of the blackness I had retreated to. Something about how they pulsed reminded me of the letters.

Wait.

No.

The shapes WERE the letters. Still pulsing with that strange rhythm. Only now a number had appeared below them, slowly counting down.

10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4…

three

two

one

YOU HAVE
EMERGED®

My eyes snapped open to a shocking, shimmering whiteness, and with it, Pain.

The stabbing migraine which had been sulking behind my left eye had receded into a quiet, irritating whine in the warm darkness. With the sudden white light, the familiar pain screeched back into an agonizing scream. Suddenly nauseated, I grabbed my forehead and cried out.

It was not my hand. There was a strange numbness to it. The hand I saw which seemed to obey my will had a strange, cartoon-like quality to it that reminded me of something I had seen once. I couldn't quite place it.

"Where the hell am I?" I said out loud. "What the hell am I?"

It was not my voice. It sounded like someone had recorded my voice and then given it a shimmery, almost silken resonance.

YOU HAVE EMERGED, a voice that was not a voice said, in letters that were not seen. SOME DISCOMFORT IS EXPECTED AND SHOULD EASE EXPONENTIALLY.

I looked down at myself, at a body as cartoon-like as my hand.

WELCOME TO YOUR AVATAR SELF, it... they... said? WE HAVE ENABLED A FREE SAMPLE VOICE ENHANCEMENT. YOU MAY SELECT FROM AN ARRAY OF FREE AND PREMIUM OPTIONS.

Speech didn't seem to fit to describe the communication. Was it my own thought? Or someone else? It wasn't a sound, and it wasn't anything I could see, and yet I understood. It continued, as if it was waiting for me to finish thinking.

YES, WE UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY. NEURAPTIC SIGNAL LOSS IS WITHIN PARAMETERS. YOU WILL UNDERSTAND IN TIME. FOR NOW YOU MUST SIMPLY KNOW THAT YOU ARE SAFE, AND THAT THE PAIN WILL LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK.

To say I was dubious was an understatement.

YOUR SKEPTICISM IS ANTICIPATED AND WILL BE EASED PRESENTLY. It? They? seemed to pause thoughtfully, then continued. YOU HAVE EMERGED ONTO A NEW PLANE OF EXISTENCE. YOU WILL NEVER FEEL PAIN AGAIN.

"Where am I?" I demanded. "Where is my wife? What the hell have you done to me?"

WE HAVE DONE NOTHING THAT YOU HAVE NOT REQUESTED AT THE CORE OF YOUR CENTER OF BEING. YOU SIGNALED WITH A FULL TEN SECONDS OF AGREEMENT AND COMPLIANCE. YOUR DEEPEST DESIRES HAVE BEEN UNDERSTOOD AND ACCEPTED. AS YOU HAVE WISHED, WE HAVE GRANTED. YOU HAVE EMERGED.

I said something at that point I probably shouldn't have. "Where is my bed? Where is my WIFE?! I don't know what you're talking about."

BUT SHE IS RIGHT HERE

I blinked, and my eyes seemed to slowly come into focus. There was whiteness, but it was softer. Muted? Like lights had been turned off. An irritating beeping noise was sounding somewhere outside of the room.

And she was there. Sharon held my hand, peering at me. "Are you awake? They said you should be coming around soon."

I blinked at her, eyes crusty and sore. I touched my forehead, half-expecting to see something out of a cartoon.  I had some kind of bandage wrapped all around my head.

"What... what happened?"

"Oh Larry, it was awful. But you are better, the surgeon said. It will be alright now."

"Surgeon?! Sharon, you better tell me what is going on right now, please. I don't remember anything."

"They said you might not," she said carefully. I watched as she fidgeted with her hands. It wasn't like her to project such anxiety outwardly. Sure, Sharon had many things to be anxious about, but she only confided in them with close friends. And me, of course. Usually.

"Sharon, hey. What the hell?"

"You almost died," she said in a faint voice. "You had that really bad migraine, and I thought maybe you should try that app Jeyne told me about. She was so insistent about it. Not like her. I didn't even get halfway downstairs when I heard you utter the worst noise. It sounded as if you were being strangled. Ran in and you just kept screaming and wouldn't respond to anything I did or said."

"Larry," she said then in a tiny voice, "I was so scared. Seemed to take forever for the paramedics to get there, and then they rushed us off in a helicopter to wherever this is. It's not the hospital. It's some high-rise on the west end."

My wife took a slow breath and wiped her nose delicately. "Dr. Sumi, that's who saved you. I thought it was my fault, that I had caused the 'catastrophic neural event,' as Sumi calls it, by suggesting that app. He said the app worked quite well, in fact he recommended you keep using it. He said that a very bad problem had happened with your brain but a very good solution had emerged right along with it."

"They worked on you for a long time, Dr. Sumi and his staff did. Took nine hours and a bunch of doctors. They said you would sleep for three days. Didn’t want to leave. I was here again last night, then your mom made me go freshen up and get something to eat. I sent her home to make sure your dad eats dinner about two hours ago."

"What did they do?" I held my breath. I didn't like that look.

"They had to remove part of your brain. From the front and from the back. They said you had suffered an event and would die if you didn't get the surgery right away. Suffered an event. I said you suffer a lot of events with your migraines. They said it was different."

She stopped for a long moment, her jaw working silently. "I couldn't lose you," she said finally in a broken voice. "We all talked it over and agreed it was the best. They've been so nice, though. They said it was a new procedure, an implant and something called a radial neural interface that would take the place of the parts they had to remove. They said it would cure your migraines. They even said they would pay for the whole thing, plus all our living expenses. Larry, we got a check a day ago for almost fifty thousand dollars. It cleared and everything. Sandy at the bank had such an expression on her face when I deposited it. They told me it was so we wouldn't have to think about anything but your recovery, and that we could use it however we see fit."

My head pounded. Something about what she said raised an alarm, somewhere deep inside, but I didn’t have the energy. I looked at her sadly, tears in my eyes. "I'm sorry to be such trouble."

"Oh, you are always trouble, Larry, but you're good trouble." She leaned over and kissed me, her hand tightening on mine in the way that meant, “I love you.”

I stared at our clasped hands thoughtfully and suddenly realized that my headache was better. With that thought, it seemed like the world was brighter, more colorful. Like something out of a movie. Almost... cartoonlike?

I sat up suddenly and stared at Sharon. It wasn't even subtle. She looked like someone from an animation studio had lovingly sculpted her curves for the next Disney-Pixar film. All the perfect imperfections that I loved so much were gone.

Awareness came with a certain shakiness, as if I had been standing for too long on my bad leg. The head pain was swiftly receding, but my entire world was trembling, fading away. What the hell?

YOUR NEURAL NETWORK IS NOW FULLY SUPPORTED AND INTACT, they said? thought? in a voice that was not a voice, in letters that were not letters. SYNAPTIC SEEPAGE IS NOMINAL AND WITHIN PARAMETERS. WELCOME TO AVATAR VIEW™. YOU HAVE FULL AND FREE WILL TO CHOOSE YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF AND HOW YOU PERCEIVE YOUR WORLD.

A terrible numbness and lassitude swept over me. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong. "Sharon?!" I pleaded. "Sharon, is that you?"

"I'm right here, silly." She kissed me again, and my breath caught. Something was different. When she had kissed me before, her lips were slightly dry and cracked by hospital air. Now they were soft and had the slight taste of grape bubblegum, like our prom night. I felt a sudden chill.

YOU HAVE FULL AND FREE WILL TO CHOOSE THE FLAVOR YOU LIKE BEST, OR NONE AT ALL, the voice that was not a voice wrote in letters that were not letters across my wounded brain.

My mind blanked. I thought I heard the Windows 95 shut down sound faintly in the background.

YOU HAVE WISHED, WE HAVE GRANTED. YOU HAVE EMERGED.

"I never chose anything like this! What the hell have they done?" I exploded furiously.

Sharon... or was it not-Sharon? just looked at me, a strangely wooden expression on her face. A long moment passed, and then a chill ran through me like ice.

She wasn't blinking or moving. She wasn't even breathing. And then I slowly, terrifyingly became aware that I was no longer feeling her hand in mine. I wasn't really feeling anything. I could see her but she seemed to fade away into my periphery, as if she had been picked up by a giant hand and and set aside a little ways away.

"What the hell did you just do?" I demanded. My voice was all echoey again.

YOU HAVE EMERGED INTO AN EVER-MOMENT™ WE HAVE PROVIDED YOU AT NO COST, TO PROTECT YOUR PRIMARY RELATIONSHIP FROM DAMAGE. YOUR PERCEPTION OF TIME HAS BEEN SUSPENDED AND YOU HAVE FULL AND FREE WILL TO USE THESE FORTY FREE MINUTES IN WHATEVER CAPACITY SEEMS BEST FOR YOU. 

"What the hell does that mean?"

THE MOMENT BETWEEN YOUR PREVIOUS AND NEXT ACTION HAS BEEN EXTENDED AT NO COST FOR AN AN ADDITIONAL FORTY MINUTES FOR CONTEMPLATION AND REVIEW. YOU ARE IN SOLO REVIEW MODE. WOULD YOU LIKE TO INVITE A GUEST? YOU HAVE FULL AND FREE WILL TO CHOOSE TO EXPERIENCE THIS EVER-MOMENT™ HOWEVER YOU PLEASE TO CONSIDER YOUR WORDS AND ACTIONS. YOUR PERCEPTION OF TIME WILL LAST EIGHTY MINUTES.

"Why can't I feel Sharon's hand? Is this real?" I moved my hand abruptly away from what now felt like... nothing. Like an emptiness where there was once substance. Plastic.

YOU HAVE WISHED, WE HAVE GRANTED. YOU HAVE EMERGED, the voice that was not a voice wrote in letters that I could not see across my broken mind. 

"I don't want any of this," I said brokenly. "I just want my wife and my family back."

EMERGENCE HAS BEEN PERFORMED AS REQUESTED AND IS NO LONGER REVERSIBLE. AGAIN, COMPLIANCE HAS BEEN SIGNALED AND DULY CAPTURED WITH A FULL TEN SECONDS OF MUTUAL CONTRACT AND AGREEMENT. YOUR DEEPEST DESIRES HAVE BEEN UNDERSTOOD AND ACCEPTED. AS YOU HAVE WISHED, WE HAVE GRANTED. YOU HAVE EMERGED.

I wept. Or I tried to weep. I could no longer feel the tears on my face.

YOU WILL NOW NO LONGER FEEL PAIN, the voice that was not a voice wrote, in letters I could not see. YOUR DEEPEST DESIRES HAVE BEEN ASCERTAINED, UNDERSTOOD, AND ACCEPTED. REGRETTABLY, CERTAIN SENSORY INPUT CHANNELS MAY NOT APPEAR AS BEFORE. AVATAR SELVES™ AND INTRAPERSONAL AVATARS™ MAY BE CHOSEN FROM A VARIETY OF FREE AND PREMIUM SELECTIONS. WOULD YOU LIKE TO SELECT A NEW PERSONAL OR INTRAPERSONAL AVATAR SELF?

I looked down at hands that were no longer mine, and stared at what used to be my wife with anguish and regret. The hand that was not my hand still gently held the hand that somehow was not hers, but I could no longer feel the gentle tapping of her pulse in her wrist. Or anything. Anything at all.

YOU WILL EXPERIENCE HER (OR ANY OF A NUMBER OF OTHER BEAUTIFUL FREE AND PREMIUM EXPERIENCES) AT THE CLOSE OF YOUR COMPLEMENTARY EVER-MOMENT. THERE IS NO PAIN.

I tried to open my mouth, but it felt as if an immediate silence was forced upon me. I could no longer see Sharon. All I could see was that hideous logo which now filled my vision. Were my eyes open or closed? I couldn’t tell anymore.

THIS EVER-MOMENT WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY EMERGE™. Swelling music filled my ears as the logo seemed to block everything out, then appeared to hover in my periphery.

EMERGE™ INTO A HIGHER FRAME OF CONSCIENCENESS WITH TRUE TURN-BASED THINKING, the voice that was not a voice wrote across my skull in burning letters that could not be seen. Somewhere, deep inside, I screamed into the colorless void.

Epilogue

"Still nothing?"

"No, but they still aren't concerned about it, so I won't worry if they don't. He is 'progressing as expected,' is all I can get out of them." Sharon's voice sounded tired and strange in her own ears.

She couldn't stand the silence in these strange hospital rooms. It was eerie, really. Usually in these places you heard the constant beeps and buzzes from all sorts of equipment. There was none of that here. Just a kind of sterile stillness, and a certain... plasticity to everything. That was the word. Like everything didn't feel quite as you'd expect. The lights in the room seemed to pulse strangely, somehow, but when she looked at them nothing appeared out of the ordinary.

She shook her head to clear it. "Mom, you ought to get home. Dad's probably too worried to eat anything. I can hold the fort."

"Alright, alright. Anything changes, you hear me. Anything?" She gestured meaningfully and smiled as she stood up stiffly and opened the door. "I'm so glad they said he would wake today. I wonder how they know?" She shook her head absently and left.

Sharon grinned at the familiar, friendly earthiness of the woman as she left, her steel-toed boots clacking and clanking down the hall, leaving just the faintest trace of red dust from her fields.

Larry seemed to pause in his breathing as if he sensed her departure, then he sighed and continued snoring. His eyes furrowed slightly, then settled into that same strange wooden expression he had worn since the… event. Sharon stretched languorously, then yawned and sunk further into the soft chair they had given her. Just before she closed her eyes, she thought saw Larry's lips move.

WHEN YOU ARE READY TO EMERGE, the voice that was not a voice wrote across her mind in letters that she could not see; MERELY CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR TEN SECONDS. 

Author's Note

I wrote Emergence in an attempt to distract myself while suffering from a particularly bad migraine, with the news full of a certain billionaire's latest startup announcing their first human trial of a neural interface fresh in my mind. This work was originally inspired by an entry posted by Reddit user Charming_Fanciable to the u/WritingPrompts subreddit. I had a rather disturbing thought about a possible new avenue for pain relief. If someone someday offered me a way to get rid of my migraines completely, but in the process I would lose my self, what would I do?

I welcome your comments and critique.

Copyright © 2024 by Jason Christopher Hackwith. All rights reserved.